Koh Yao Yai
On Sunday the 27th March we flew from Koh Samui to Phuket,then caught a bus and then a speed boat to the island.
Koh Yao Yai promises a secret getaway island – just what I’ve always dreamed of – the bit they forget to mention is the bit about the other 3 trillion tourists in the one and only resort here. Why do they call it a resort? Is it because you have to resort to other measures to getaway or is it because you have to re sort your expectations about the whole experience or maybe you just have to accept the whole situation and resort never to go to another resort again. See…already resorted for me 👍
However there are worse things than other tourists – correction – there’s nothing worse than other tourists – so what do you do on this getaway island?
With promises of free bicycles to explore the island outside of the resort (starting to slightly hate that word) we were lucky enough to borrow two of the four bicycles provided for the 3 trillion tourists – a probability which exceeds any chance of winning the national or any other lottery.
Have you ever been on a cycle ride in the blazing sun, 38 degrees C, already drunk your water and got lost? No? ……Well you ain’t lived……..Aiming for a beach on a sign which said 3,8km (already an hour after burning the last skin on my scalp) we ended up on a steep slope in the middle of a jungle. Do we go back? Do we carry on?
Dani – go back
Mum – go on
So….on we go. The path was too steep and rugged to cycle so God forbid we had to push those damned bicycles as well, fully aware of the fact that what goes down must go up (I think it’s the other way round – but if you’d been as dazed and confused as we were you would’ve said the same thing). Suddenly I heard trickling water (and it definately wasn’t me – I was far too dehydrated to be trickling!!) and I remembered Bear Grylls saying if you’re ever lost in a Thai jungle – you’re completely fucked!!! No actually, he said, water leads to civilization – so on we pushed….and guess what…..Bear Grylls was wrong!!!!
This is what we did see though……
The perfect getaway….
But no one serving at this deserted bar!!!!
However in the heavens above there was a God looking down who just happened to have sent down a cement lorry with some sandbags in and a bunch of Thai workers…..surreal I know – but here it is……
“Would it be possible for you to put our bikes on the top of your lorry and take us back up the hill?” we asked in our best Thai.
No sooner asked, no sooner loaded and cop this – he put his purple disco lights on in his truck where we all squeezed in listening to the Scorpions “always somewhere” trundling up the hill in the searing heat.
Today I have decided to eat ice cream all day and have a massage, as my throat resembles something out of a horror movie and refuses to disappear even after swallowing tons of Thai antibiotics. I like these days where we permit ourselves to eat ice cream all day under the pretence of “it’ll do you the world of good” and “just what the doctor ordered”.
During the massage she started to massage my knees. Have you ever had your knees massaged? Its so weird. It felt like she was singing a little song to herself and with my in-depth knowledge of the Thai language it must’ve been something like this…
“La la knobbly knees,
La La knobbly knees,
This lady has wobbly belly,
This lady has knobbly knees,
I just hope she doesn’t sneeze”
In my opinion an expert interpretation of her little song 😄 the tune sounded really nice and my knees loved it – so sing what you like, I shall be back for more knobbly wobbly massaging 😄
Oh island life could be sooo schön..
Patty, went to Fleetwood last weekend. Do you know, it was though I had it to myself. Albeit the rain was lashing down and the wind was howling, there was no competition for space. I had the ferry to myself even though I thought it was going to overturn mid channel. So Phuket to Phuket. You both take care