Thailand – Koh Samui -Mae Nam Beach
Not all people you meet on your travels will you want to befriend, exchange e.mail addresses (that’s more for the 40+ age group) or even hug. However it happened to me to today on a random beach with a Thai masseuse (female) my age, called Keng. Not only did she hug me, she threw in a bunch of bananas and a bottle of water after giving me the best ever 60 min. aloe vera/coconut oil full body massage for 10 euros. That’s never happened to me before (I mean a hug, a bunch of bananas and the water thing).
Even her mate seemed to want to be my friend proudly showing me the scars of her recent ovarian operation – not that any of this conversation was in English – mostly in Thai – but she did a damn good impression of an ovarian operation 😂
The day had started on a high, when we discovered the hotel we were staying in on a steep hill had amazing views of the north coast of Koh Samui. To get to the beach we had to take a shuttle bus which dropped us off on a road where the driver pointed to a dodgy looking alleyway saying “beach beach”. Skipping down the dodgy looking alleyway to the beach beach, we discovered that it was not such a lovely looking beach beach. Hence the ensuing low part of the day. Heading east along the beach beach we soon decided to turn west as the beach beach was not getting any lovelier……at all.
It had all the ingredients of our first disastrous beach in Goa albeit minus the cows and Indians. We arrived at a bar on a steep rock and decided to google best beaches in northern Koh Samui providing they had internet – they did and we did. We then had a mango shake or something resembling a mango shake and ordered a taxi. A private car turned up and we had to bargain our fare to the next beach. Still paying double the amount of bahts we were supposed to – he dropped us of at a complex called Lolita’s bungalows – I keep asking myself why he thought this was a good idea?
Proceeding through Lolita’s bungalows we arrived on a private beach which was obviously intended for Lolita’s bungalows inhabitants – we did not belong there – all seemed slightly dodgy!! We headed back west along the beach arriving at a rather smart hotel complex with rich looking people – we did not belong there!!!!! Also at a grand total of 75 euros for two sun loungers for the day (with free water Dani was quick to point out!!) I declined – this was not in accordance with our Thai budget!!! Moving on – we were hot and thirsty and parked ourselves under some palm tress only to find ourselves surrounded by a load of tourists (God forbid) but what a bunch!!! – we did not belong there!!!
After a quick swim we swiftly moved on and had almost decided to go back to the hotel to ask the French manager Maximillion – I know it’s Maximilian but if you say it the way I wrote it first it sounds even more incredibly Francais – ne c’est pas?
However, we then chanced upon some random looking old wooden sun loungers and a slightly dilapidated looking bar called “my place” – I knew instantaneously that this was where we belonged…
“How much are the chairs?” we enquired. “If you eat and drink with me they are free” said the lady behind the dilapidated looking bar. At this point we had nothing to lose and ordered a couple of ginger ales and some water for us, the thirsty wonderful beach seeking travellers. Apart from a group of undesirables to our right – we were quite taken with our remote little beach shack with the ancient wooden sun loungers missing a number of slats inbetween – this I did not mind – I’d noticed the massage shack by this time which I thought would remedy any joint pain incured by missing wooden slats. Fulfilling our promise to eat we searched the menu for something available as most things had “not available” written next to it – if you’d seen the kitchen you would’ve realized why “not available” was perfectly legitimate and for our own health and safety probably our saving grace. We did however find crepes with seasonal fruit with condensed milk and honey and although I expected her to say this was also “not available” they managed to knock this up in that kitchen 😂 it looked great and didn’t taste half bad – even after this 🐜 crawled out of mine, I still ate it – after all I am a “back packer” 😂 I would not boast that I have a concrete stomach able to drink water out of rusty gutters like some seasoned travellers seem able to do – but a few ants here and there in my food….easy !!
Anyway after all this I made my new friend Keng and received my bunch of bananas to seal our friendship.
Leaving the beach at 6 ish and dusk settling in we made our way down off beaten tracks to the main road. I was just about to deposit my bunch of bananas in the woods for any random stray hungry monkeys when Keng road up behind us on her motorcycle – she asked if we wanted a lift back to our hotel, but as it was miles away and she had already been overly generous we declined. After seeing the giant giant giant spiders in the webs between the trees I think Dani regretted this – had it been mice I would most surely have been on the back of that motorcycle.
Tonight is the full moon party and when I got up at 8:30am for a dip in the pool – Maximillion questioned why I was up so early as I have an alnight party to go to and I would be needing all my energy – I was left wondering if he would’ve asked someone younger the same question and if my decision to go is maybe somewhat strange as it seems most of the hotel staff now know and ask me if I am really am going 😱😱😱😱………I really am 😂👵🏼
Strange images of what lies ahead!!!
