Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka is a relatively small island (65,625 sq. kilometers to be precise (it says so in my fact sheet).
We have already seen an astonishing variety of landscapes each with its own outstanding beauty from lowland jungles and farmland to misty highlands.
We have probably been in the majority of the tourist honey-pots but who cares.
A late arrival two nights ago saw us crossing a rope bridge in the pitch dark and I jokingly said to Dani “looks like we are in the jungle camp” and so we were.

Our jungle hut by day.

When we entered our room we hastily removed 2 genetically enhanced looking cockroaches and cleared the bed of ants. The noise from the animals we could not see was incredible. As a helicopter flew over, I thought some more candidates for “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” were arriving and that we would possibly have to share our room.
However we remained alone – not counting the ants and the cockroaches. I was thankful for sunrise the next morning.
In the light of day, things began to seem less jungley in the jungle and quite adventurous. Although I had wondered where Bear Grylls was when you needed him most, it became apparent that his expertise wouldn’t be necessary.
Once we reached the Sigiriya Rock Fortress, I thought WTF……you’ve got to be joking……Dani and I had handbags with us for goodness sake….handbags on a climb the rock experience – ridiculous!!!!!
So off we ventured – no one gets away without a guide up the rock face and neither did we – passing a number of older than me people on the way up I felt obliged to put a spring in my step and a youth like grin on my face and made quite a few not really so funny jokes during the ascent. Once we’d done the spiral staircase I thought we’d bagged this experience…..until we got round the corner to lions staircase and what I named the stairway to heaven…..

The open stairway with see through steps and a dodgy old handrail made my knees go weak, my heart starting racing and a sudden dizziness washed over me. You know that feeling when you want to say no, but yes comes out of your mouth instead (why do I never get the words out right). I remembered the time my father had to fetch me back down off a slide in Anchorsholme Park and I thought to myself “where the bloody hell are you dad?”
I kept my focus on the right towards the rock – if I’d have looked left I would’ve become so nauseous, it would’ve been unpleasant for all on the stairway. Finally we made it up – I felt nothing but relief – it was so amazing upstairs – unbelievable!!!! Going down I spoke to the oldies still going up, offering them encouragement (so easy to do that when you’re going down). One guy thanked us for our words of encouragement and called us stars – I had to agree with him 😄
All in all an amazing experience.

Today we did a village tour…..climbed a tree (so easy, I’m becoming almost apelike) a boat ride and a bull and cart ride.

This afternoon was another highlight – a jeep safari to an elephant colony.
Quite some time passed before I saw the first elephant and as our jeep during this particular incident was first in a long line and I had loudly shouted “there’s an elephant” (which I think is a fairly accurate thing to say if you spot an elephant!!) I self declared myself to chief elephant spotter for a while. One of the main attractions of the tour were two jeeps getting well and truly stuck in a deep ditch and the hoards of jeeps gathering to watch (ours included but only because our lovely young driver helped them out). I think during this time 50 elephants may have roamed past, but no one would’ve noticed.

Once normality resumed the convoy stopped again and I looked to see where the elephants were. Sadly it was a bunch of ornithologists who had become very excited about a heron eagle in a tree. I felt this was a slight waste of time, but as our driver also stopped and checked in his bird watching manual to verify the species I felt obliged to take a photo. (I do hope he didn’t think I was an ornithologist – I was not carrying an over large pair of binoculars nor was I wearing a beige floppy hat a feature seemingly common amongst groups of bird lovers.

The perfect elephant family crossed our path, just at that moment when I was thinking that if the main attraction had been the jeeps in the ditches and the struggle in pulling them and 300kg of body weight in tourists out of it, that the safari would’ve not earned a mention in the blog. Mummy, Daddy and baby – perfect though – when mummy and daddy turned their backsides towards me, I was reminded of a certain scenario yesterday on the rock. A rather overweight female was being pushed up a slope by a young guide who had placed both his small hands on her overly large bottom. In Europe this would’ve been considered criminal – in Sri Lanka it appears it is a profession. I suppose I must’ve been grateful that I had not been asked if I had needed two hands on my behind to get me up the rock. I couldn’t help wondering though, what they charged for this service and indeed if the price increased the higher the ratio of backside vs hand size !!!

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